we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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