what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
