God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
