Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
