Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
