Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
