I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
