i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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