I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
