Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
