So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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