I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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