I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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