my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
