My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
