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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
