Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
worst night to have a conscience
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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