It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
