dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
