I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
