uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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