just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize