even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
