Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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