My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
