he wants to bone in the snuggie
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
