I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
