Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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