let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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