You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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