having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize