god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
