i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
