actually, I'm a sock model
okay pat passed out under dana's car
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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