Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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