the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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