areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
