Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
