Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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