He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
