ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How does one acquire holy water?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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