It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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