New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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