I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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