my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
two words...techno handjob
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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