I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
