I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize