Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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