When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize