You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
