Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
