How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
