Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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