That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
