I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
