The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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