yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
