Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
