bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
