two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
