Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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