On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
