i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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