Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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