Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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