I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize