there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
