so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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