Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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