He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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