if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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