Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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