I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize