Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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