so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize