Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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