he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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