When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
we're so committed to being not committed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
