hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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