Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
