...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
