She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
