So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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